Mood lighting

IT’S been a strange, exhausting, fulfilling, exciting few days. And now, as luck would have it, the heavens have opened up – conspiring to keep me indoors and keyboard-bound.

I drove to the Sunshine Coast on Thursday night after I finished my late shift. I packed stealthily in the dark, swallowed some coffee and we loaded sleepy bundles of children into their car seats.

It’s so peaceful driving through towns after dark. You can see inside people’s lives better. You can see them slumped on the couch soaked in the white glare from their television. Their languid behaviour framed perfectly by their windows, fettered by curtains, made cubist with venetians.

You can see women in their pyjamas, making their way to the kitchen. Idly scratching their bottom.

I saw a dilapidated Queenslander – all louvres and peeling timber – and, through the window near the stairs, were mismatched photo collages. Their decor wasn’t designer, it was cramped pictures of mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, nephews, nieces. All together. All side by side.

I imagined the people inside. Made up their story for them.

They didn’t work that day. Hadn’t worked for awhile. They had no plans for the weekend. No plans for their life.

Maybe they’d go to the markets. Maybe they wouldn’t. Depends on what time they get up.

Ambivalent about it all, but happy. Free to stay up as long as they liked. It all seems so decadent but they don’t recognise the beauty of their days. “It is what it is.”

I only imagine they’re that way because it contrasts so starkly against my ambitious, plan-driven, finish work and race hundreds of kilometres to make another appointment in the morning, type of flight.

I push myself to create more, I push myself away from my own laid-back country pace. To the point where I’m driving in the middle of the night, terrified. Sick with nervous energy. Nails bleeding because I won’t, can’t, stop chewing them.

Of course, everything went according to plan. It usually does in my world – so I’ve been told.

So, all will be revealed in due course – maybe tomorrow? – so I’ll take this day, this rain, this scudding of thoughts and revel in it. Sloth about in an imaginary place where I don’t care about tomorrow. Today is enough.

xx

PS Stay dry. Stay safe.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. jentbrave
    Mar 05, 2012 @ 06:19:54

    beautiful 🙂

    Reply

  2. Gabrielle Wheaton
    Mar 06, 2012 @ 00:14:21

    I like walking at night for the same reason, PJ! Lovely post – and the photo is just gorgeous xo

    Reply

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