Booby trap on the beach

YOU’LL have to excuse my sullen attitude… it happens when you’re not sleeping. When your child’s excema is not treated properly and she can’t stop itching and crying and you can’t help her because you don’t have the right cream.

Bottle back the anger, Peta…

I’m trying really hard to stay positive. Life is what you make it, after all. And I’m trying very hard to make it “good”. But my clothes hurt my skin, I’m THAT tired.

And I’m wearing a maxi dress.


So I took the kids to the water park, because where else should one go when you’re overtired and stressed than a small, fenced-in enclosure with hundreds of screaming children on school holidays? But it was shut till noon (way to be SunSmart, you idiots!) so we went to the beach instead.

The tide was in and there were Actual Crashing Waves. Since our coastline is tucked neatly behind a big-arse island, there’s seldom any movement at all (see picture). And even today, you wouldn’t try boogey-boarding on it, but it was big enough to have the kids screaming in terror.


I ignored the screaming and sat down in the shell-encrusted sand to be battered into submission by brown froth. Eventually the kids got the idea and started to enjoy the waves.

That’s about when the woman sunbaking near us rolled over and displayed her breasts to the morning sun.


I couldn’t help envy her, simply for not pulling on a “form-fitting” swimsuit, while I literally pulled a muscle to get into my one-piece, boy-leg swimmers that morning. She just hoiked up her pants and strode into the ocean.

Lolling about beyond the breaking waves, she floated serenely while I struggled to stand upright with two children dripping from my arms, commanding me to “jump Mum, jump!”.

She smiled at me when we “raced the waves” back to the shore. Most likely because I was staring. I wanted to shout “I’m staring because I’m tired and sore and your life looks so disarmingly simple right now… Not because I can see your boobs.”

That was the other delightful thing. She wasn’t a tanned, Scandinavian goddess (the likes of which grace our coastal region) built solely to make me feel significantly un-goddess-like. She was an older woman with gentle, floppy skin and a wide smile that made me smile back. And I don’t think I’ve EVER smiled at a topless woman before.

Somehow seems anti-feminist.

But she wasn’t generating stares, not pitching awkward pant-tents on the beach (if you get me), just a bit of a naturalist enjoying her morning on the beach. And I had to commend her for that.

I also have to commend my kids for not shouting: “Mum, I can see her boobies!” Lest I had to have a loud discussion on sun safety which may have sullied her morning.


10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sheeple Liberator
    Dec 14, 2011 @ 03:18:50

    I hope she used sunscreen.


  2. Kirsty De Roach
    Dec 16, 2011 @ 01:15:57

    The thought of my boobs on display in public gives me the heebie jeebies. I remember a day when I was the first to flash after a couple of drinks (or not!) convinced everyone would love to see my perky young breasts – maybe there used to be a thrice breastfeeding mother looking at mine with envy.


    • petajo
      Dec 16, 2011 @ 01:47:57

      I hear you Kirsty… sadly I was a bit of a flasher too. Now I couldn’t think of anything more embarassing! xx


  3. Bee
    Dec 16, 2011 @ 02:55:57

    Think I would end up stepping on mine if I flopped (quite literally) them out at the beach. But hey, each to their own and may she be smart enough to wear a good sunscreen on her free flying nipples.


    • petajo
      Dec 16, 2011 @ 03:09:06

      Ha! I read your comment wrong and thought you said you’d step on a land mine… was thinking whereabouts is she from?! I wouldn’t step on mine, as I could safely tuck them into my pants! 😉


  4. Sarcasm Goddess
    Dec 16, 2011 @ 09:31:24

    Sigh. I often dream of being topless on the beach.


  5. Kristy @PampersandPinot
    Dec 16, 2011 @ 14:59:09

    I know my son would not be able to pull his eyes away and would make many comments!! He’s 3. He LOVES boobs. When I look at pics he’s taken on my phone it’s always boobs!


    • petajo
      Dec 19, 2011 @ 06:13:07

      Nwah… it’s cute when they’re little. I wonder what the age is when it officially STOPS being cute! xx


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