Getting on with it…

I’M n0t done grieving over my puppy yet. But that’s okay. In the meantime I’ve spent a lot of time gazing at stuff, thinking things and pushing my toes into dirt.

It makes a nice change.

I’m not exactly the super-relaxed type.

In fact I’ve been told more than once that people are waiting for me to a) snap, or b) run off to the mountains. Apparently this is because of the “activities” I cram into daily life and the extra-curricular stuff I do outside of my work. (Is now a bad time to post a pic of the gingerbread house we made?!)

But I don’t consider my schedule as grounds for a breakdown. Sometimes I think it’s what keeps me sane. Sometimes I wonder if I’m outrunning a certain “black dog” (okay, that may sound confusing… I’m not referring to Karra here!), I don’t know… sometimes my ambition bites hard enough that I start planning before I ask myself ‘why?’. No doubt frustrating to those around me.

For the record, I do sit and stare at the TV. I eat crap. I put off making lunch until I’ve exhausted Facebook. But those things aren’t public, so instead I get the tongue-in-cheek “surely you’re not stopping at one book” attitude (read: FFS, slow down, lady. You’re making me look bad.).

But I also get twitchy. I want more. To be more. Do more. Have more. I’m not built to sit, eat and stare all the time. Call me crazy.

Ariel the Little Mermaid (shit, she’s in my blog again!) was preaching to my 12-year old soul when she sang: I want so much more than they’ve got here (though pretty sure she was referring to crustaceans, I was referring to sugar cane.).

I get so delighted when I meet people that are similarly striving for ‘more’. It makes me feel less like a freak. And I’m endlessly curious as to how they’re managing it all.

Sometimes they’re not. Just like sometimes I’m not managing my stuff either. But they keep going regardless.

So I’ll keep going regardless, but for those of you taking bets on whether my recent set-back will stop me: Put all your money on “It won’t”.

PS The pic isn’t about me being angry. Just one of Son’s school art pieces that I found amusing. Amazing how much anger stems from parents!

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16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. marketingtomilk
    Oct 17, 2011 @ 06:50:40

    I can’t sit still, Neither could my mum. I get really uncomfortable and anxious when i’m not doing something. I’m happiest when i’m doing 3 things at once.
    It’s not good for the stres, but it means i can eat more cake.
    Hurrah!

    M2M

    Reply

  2. Paul Cavanough
    Oct 17, 2011 @ 10:35:56

    There is nothing wrong with being motivated or driven when it comes to goals and fullfillment, these are fine traits to portray especially when held up against the seven deadly sins or more precisely sloth and gluttony. But, and here I am talking of society in general, that more people should take the time to sit still with their thoughts and without any outside distractions, which is why some fill their appointment books to avoid just that cause maybe introspection can be painful even moreso when avoided for long periods of time. The second question is who are you trying to achieve your goals for, yourself, your siblings, your parents, the local butcher. This one question truthfully answered not only help to focus the applied effort but also allow you know who to address your rebellious self to on those rare occasions that you may feel like bucking the system. This comment is not directed at you Pete just my general thoughts on a subject I have seen from both sides of the coin. In our house we call jen the energiser bunny lol.

    Reply

    • petajo
      Oct 18, 2011 @ 01:32:36

      If only my butcher would take such notice – sob! 😉
      But yes, I think I do allow myself time to reflect on things (this blog for example!) I just forget sometimes why i’m doing what i’m doing. xx

      Reply

  3. Amber Miller
    Oct 17, 2011 @ 10:43:51

    I guess it depends if you are striving for more to fill some kind of hole in your soul, or if it makes you happy. That’s the difference between an ‘overachiever’ and an ‘achiever’. If you don’t feel the black dog’s breath on your heels all the time, I think you are doing well and I take my imaginary hat off to you. It’s when you can’t take the occasional moment to watch Ellen and eat oven fries that you need to be concerned. Sounds like you are being honest with yourself, which is fantastic cause it takes guts to face these things. Madame, I salute you. Not because you are superhuman, but because you are human.

    Reply

    • petajo
      Oct 18, 2011 @ 01:34:13

      Nwah, Amber! Thanks… the difference between achiever and overachiever bit, that’s helped cleared things up for me! xx

      Reply

  4. Amber Miller
    Oct 17, 2011 @ 10:46:21

    BTW, I love how one of the things that make your boy angry is ‘getting out of bed to go to daycare”! That’s so adult! I feel your pain, mate!

    Reply

    • petajo
      Oct 18, 2011 @ 01:34:40

      I wonder if the teachers are sitting there waiting for our kids to “dish the dirt” on their parents!

      Reply

  5. Cheryse Durrant
    Oct 18, 2011 @ 12:11:10

    The eternal words of Garth Brooks: “But you got to be tough when consumed by desire ‘Cause it’s not enough just to stand outside the fire.”

    Reply

  6. Laureny
    Oct 21, 2011 @ 06:15:30

    I always like to have a few things on the go – it’s been difficult doing nothing all the time whilst feeding a newborn! My toddler doesn’t get why life is suddenly so boring!

    Reply

    • petajo
      Oct 21, 2011 @ 06:20:42

      Thanks Laureny, I should probably remember it wasn’t always like this (and probably won’t always stay like this!)

      Reply

  7. Kristy @PampersandPinot
    Oct 21, 2011 @ 14:58:25

    Supermom is a myth! I have long given up on perfection.

    Reply

  8. Kirrily
    Oct 21, 2011 @ 21:33:34

    Hey, I can identify! (I think perhaps we all can at certain stages) I’m a go-go-go person as well and nothing smacked me in the kisser more than having to adjust my lifestyle to the pace of a small child (first school year next year… we made it!!). May your days even out to a more balanced, self-fulfilling pace soon.

    Reply

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