Me love you long time at short time price. Tell your friends.

I DON’T talk about my sex life to anyone other than my husband. Aside from the standard jokes amongst other parents about “mismatched libidos” post-children, I think it’s a topic reserved solely for the couple in question.

Which is why, when my husband relayed an office conversation to me recently,  I was gob-smacked to hear a woman reveal to several colleagues that she and her fiance have a “payment plan” on sex.

In short, he pays $50 when he wants sex. He gets two free ones, but anything extra will cost. That includes oral.

What the?!

She said she doesn’t particularly enjoy it, so she ought to get something out of it. Well, we’ve all been there (I hope), but monetary payment?! Surely not.

I had so many questions for my husband, I’m guessing he wishes he hadn’t mentioned it.

Will they continue this “arrangement” after they’re married? Does he have a high-paying job? Do they worry about their sexual compromises reaching out to discolour other aspects of their partnership?

Or is she actually on to something? Could their relationship rise above the usual bedroom conflicts by creating an incentive, regardless of whether it’s physical or financial? It’s no secret plenty of marital disagreements centre around a couple’s “frequency”, is this a practical way of resolving the situation?

I’m not deluded enough to think couple’s are only ever doing it out of love. I know it can be used as an effective bargaining tool (take, for example, Lilly using sex to coax her partner into flossing his teeth on How I Met Your Mother), but actually dollar notes? Isn’t that a bit… ahem, red light special?

Are we doing this now? Using sex as leverage even in loving relationships? Hmm… I do need a new iPod.

All the psycho-babble aside, I’m still prudent enough to be awed by her openness in the office, and admittedly even her audacity to request payment for services rendered. But does her fiance know she’s discussing these things to others? Not just the transaction, but the fact she obviously isn’t enjoying their “mattress habitat”? 

While my husband was happy to weigh in on this discussion, I suspect he’d have a mild conniption if I did the same.

Is it a generational thing? One of those types that discusses Everything With Everyone? “I had a nice sandwich for lunch and can’t seem to find my erogenous zone” types of people?

I can’t say I’ve ever divulged things such as “oral makes my jaw hurt” (except when I’ve drunk half a bottle of Sambuca, probably). But my husband seemed to take it in his stride, replying that she was simply doing it wrong. He is one of those Gen-Y’ers (while I’m the much cooler Gen X). Though my older sister (also Gen X) would probably share all of her sexual escapades unprompted. Visual aids optional.

Maybe it’s just me. I’m blushing just blogging about it.

How much pillow talk do you share with others? And do you exchange sex for money or chore-trade-offs?

(PS. I’ve been trying to make sure all my photos are ones from our album to prevent any accidental copyright infringement. The above photo is the closest I could find to “sexy”. Sad really.)

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15 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. hpretty
    Aug 15, 2011 @ 08:45:43

    That’s just *ing weird. I have heard quite frequently the exchange of a blow job for a bit of DIY, but somehow bringing monetary payment into it seems quite diffetent. The perfect wife is a goddess in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom? Isn’t this taking it a but far?

    M2M

    Reply

    • petajo
      Aug 17, 2011 @ 02:33:22

      Bleh, hate that saying … talk about compartmentalising your life! Still… glad I’m not the only one to find this perplexing!

      Reply

  2. the older sister
    Aug 16, 2011 @ 14:36:01

    i feel it is my duty to share my wealth of knowledge.. lmao

    Reply

    • petajo
      Aug 17, 2011 @ 02:31:29

      Yay – finally a family member braves commenting on the website! And it’s fine… imagine how clueless I’d be if it weren’t for you! ..xx

      Reply

  3. Other older sister, but not the one with the wealth of knowledge (that I'm admitting to anyway)
    Aug 19, 2011 @ 04:43:15

    I worked with a woman in Perth back in 1999 who made her husband pay $50 per um…oral encounter. I was shocked at the time, but wish I’d thought of something like this with the ex. Might have got a bit more out of that marriage 🙂

    Reply

  4. The Cranky Old Man
    Aug 19, 2011 @ 05:49:20

    What a great idea, now I just have to figure out how much to charge my wife!

    The Cranky Old Man

    Reply

  5. Maxabella
    Aug 19, 2011 @ 07:00:20

    HIDEOUS! What kind of person is she? What kind of relationship is that? Fark, why not just walk the streets instead, it would be a lot less complicated! x

    Reply

  6. Susan @ Living Upside Down
    Aug 19, 2011 @ 11:14:09

    I did hear about a couple who from the start of their marriage put $5 into a jar each time they had sex and each year they used whatever was in the jar to fund a holiday/getaway. A little extra motivation without anyone actually paying for sex.

    Personally, attaching any sort of money value to sex sounds a bit icky to me. I’ve never been comfortable discussing that aspect of my relationship outside of my marriage either, although i’ve known people who were very casual about sharing stories about the night before. Each to their own I guess.

    Reply

    • petajo
      Aug 20, 2011 @ 10:42:23

      I know, some things are too private. It’s nice to identify with other women’s frustrations (read: lack of interest) in the bedroom, but I don’t need all the gory details!

      Reply

  7. Rhonda
    Aug 19, 2011 @ 15:36:46

    That’s the one thing my husband has expressly asked that I not share on my blog or any other social network is our sex life. I share so many other personal details that I give him that one.

    Is it illegal to charge ones significant other? I think the whole thing is overall weird.

    Reply

    • petajo
      Aug 20, 2011 @ 10:39:51

      Don’t think it’s illegal… but still… financial burden’s in the bedroom? Could be trading one problem for another. I agree, it’s WEIRD!

      Reply

  8. Glowless
    Aug 21, 2011 @ 15:15:22

    I pretty much share all information to friends or anyone that asks… But I draw the line at charging/paying my partner for sex.

    Reply

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