Random Words Wednesday

I GOT to catch up with an old friend recently. We shared the routine struggle of our everyday lives, trying to study/write/work around our young’uns and worrying what impact this “doing it all” has on them.

I discovered I’m not the only person who calls leaving the kids to their own devices “independent play”. Phew.

It was a little bit of comfort that I was glad to come by. Especially after reading an article in The Sunday Mail (on Mother’s Day mind, I mean really – can we go without the parent bashing for ONE day! It’s enough to make me want to give up reading!) about a new generation of parents who are predominately selfish creatures and their children are slotted in around their … ahem… study/work/dreams of bigger things.

*chewing my lip…

In my generation’s defence, we were taught that we could have it all, do it all, be it all… so it’s a bit bloody unfair to now move the goalposts because we procreated.

But I also considered something else over the weekend. Watching my mum follow the kids around the kiddy cafe, I realised I wasn’t always the centre of my mother’s world either. Or my father’s. They both had to worry about providing a steady income. Obviously a more noble pursuit than chasing dreams, but the outcome remains the same.

I’d like to say that my writing (read: neglectful parenting) will be an example to my kids on the importance of hard work in realising a goal, but it’s probably not what they’ll tell their therapist in years to come.  

(And that’s doubly hard to believe in, considering it depends upon achievements I’m still yet to accomplish).

But maybe one day, when I’m chasing after my kids’ kids, they’ll realise some of their determination to better their own life comes from the time they spent without me hovering nearby. Hopefully they can feel good about their “selfish pursuits” that may, in turn, encourage my grandkids to shoot for the moon.

PS I ought to add that the article went on to talk about parent’s audacious social activities (such as gym, dating for singles, etc) that took away from spending time with their kids. But it started out as a more general slather which got my hackles up and, as what tends to happen, I couldn’t read the remainder entirely because we were having breakfast at Maccas and the playground was calling. See? Children’s desires before my own. Gold star for me.

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