Random Words Wednesday

Top five reasons I hate vertical blinds:

1) They are almost always beige or off-white in colour, making chocolate, mud, Vegemite, basically anything on your kids hands, stand out particularly well so when your real estate agent does their next inspection they can call your parental supervision into question.

2) Plastic clips that snap if you so much as look at them.

3) The distinct lack of protruding hooks or rails where you can hang crystals and other sundry from your childhood, so instead they sit forlornly on the window sill or counter top making you wonder if you have outgrown these things and are indeed, living the soulless life of a suburban housewife with an immaculate home and absolutely no personality. A home where the morning sunlight cannot sparkle through a well-placed crystal is not a home, I tell you!

4) That stupid box at the end of the strings that change the position of the blinds. Maybe this is just specific to our house, but the sound of that little box hitting the wall in a slight breeze makes me sit upright in bed scanning for wayward, sleep-walking children, or burglars. After a couple of hours of which I’m so exhausted, I don’t hear when the kids do crawl into our bed, making attempts to keep kids in their own bed that much harder. (And yes, I have tried to stop the noise.)

5) The entanglement that occurs when kids – used to normal fabric curtains – try to hide in them.

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