No still means no

A LOVELESS marriage might be doomed for failure. But a sexless one, not necessarily so.

Whether a couple’s antics between the sheets ought to rely on a “fragile, feeble female libido” is the question posed by Bettina Arndt in her new book, The Sex Diaries.

She believes women should forget the headache and say yes more often to their partner’s advances.

Sound like something from the 1970s? Arndt’s seemingly anti-feminist posing has been defended as a proactive approach to a realistic partnership in the 21st century – that is, a compromise between two consenting adults intent on keeping each other’s needs met.

Now, I’m no bedroom boffin but I find her attitude quite simplistic.

Acquiescing to your partner despite your own disinterest can breed resentment, particularly if – as it is in many households – the woman is responsible for contributing an income as well as house maintenance and child care.

Perhaps distributing some of the daily burden more equitably would help improve this flagging female libido.

Loathe as I am to publish the more intimate details of my life, my second pregnancy and a one-year old suffering tonsilitus is a perfect example of how life gets in the way of any “action”.

Thankfully an understanding husband and good communication goes a long way in preventing a stalled sex life from becoming destructive.

Sentiments such as Arndt’s not only jeopardises the right to say no, it puts the entire women’s movement in a very compromising position


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